When you go to someone’s house for dinner or lunch, when you first get there, where do you hang out?
I grew up in New Jersey. My fiancé (YUP) grew up on Long Island.
When we first started dating and he was coming to my house or joining me on trips to see my friends or family, he was (and still is) baffled by one thing: our tendency to gather in the kitchen.
It happened without fail. People coming to my house while he was there on a weekend? We were all in the kitchen, with my roommates mixing drinks and serving appetizers on our island before eventually moving into the dining room for brunch or dinner.
Thanksgiving? We’re joining the host in the kitchen and catching up as we open wine and peel potatoes.
A canvass launch for a local candidate? We’re fueling up on snacks first, then handing out the lists.
Even when I hosted our family’s winter brunch, my aunt and uncle and dad hung out in our tiny Queens kitchen for as long as they could before Rob gently ushered them into the living room for mimosas and appetizers while I frantically played Tetris with our oven to fit everything I intended on serving.
Here’s the thing: it doesn’t matter what the temperature of the kitchen is. It doesn’t matter how much seating is in the kitchen. What matters is: the person I am there to see is usually cooking or puttering around the kitchen for one reason or another, and so if that’s where they are, that’s where I’ll be too.
Until Rob started spending more time with people from New Jersey, he hadn’t ever seen this. I initially posited that this is because there’s not a single kitchen on the entirety of Long Island big enough to pack several people into it, but since moving here and spending more time with people here, I’ve seen perfectly good hanging-out kitchens go neglected while everyone gathers in the living room, game room, movie room, basement, etc.
Is it more comfortable? Probably. But am I weirdly discomfited by the concept of being in another room while someone is working really hard and cooking possibly without any help? Definitely.
So what do you do? Is gathering in the kitchen just a Jersey thing? Is avoiding the kitchen just a New York thing? Let me know in the comments or an email – peasontheplate@gmail.com .
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